My blood hurts

My friend Phil leant me Tom Baker’s The Boy Who Kicked Pigs today, after realising this is the sort of thing I like. He did after all find a kindred spirit in the joys of Monkey Dust. I am maybe a 1/4 of the way through Tom Baker’s tome and it is funny in that [...]

Something happy to quell my rage…

PIGGIES!

So yeah, I’m raged because despite opening a dispute file or whatever its called over those two Betamax payments, Paypal have let one go though into my bank account! Wow, good job you nutsacks. ARGHHHH!

“Hey man, thats a swede swede you’re swedings”

The big news today aka OMG I NEARLY DIED. Not.

Yep, Market Rasen is roughly 10-15 miles from Lincoln (as the crow flies).  It was fun, in a completely weird way. Woke up to the house shaking and all these weird creaky noises and bright lights and my first thought was that the military had blockaded [...]

Who is Old Gregg

I’m Old Gregg.

 

I’m gonna eat y’all

Hey, hey…guys. You want to see something not fun? Yeah, I thought so too…

That, my fine friends, is my microdermal attempting to escape from my body. B’stard. That bit of titanium is meant to be sealed inside my body, as there is a hole on that plate that should be holding it there. It isn’t, [...]

And the Australians are all like ‘WTF mate’

“Have you seen cool infant jewelry lately that matches your tastes in modern decor and aesthetics?”

No, because that is the silliest thing I have ever read. But according to an article on Coochicoos.com, modern style jewellery for babies and toddlers is de rigeur.

What total bullshit. Okay, so I had one of those expandable silver [...]

You can talk to the friendly pigeon

“How to Tell if a Relationship is Over in 90 Seconds”
Just something quick and cheery because I have spent literally every waking hour of the past few days at work and as the great Dylan Moran once said…my brain is falling out of my ears like wet cake. Working in retail [...]

I hate wet bread.

 
 

My Nanny’s cat looks like one of those gelatinous people Jerry Springer occasionally does specials on. Y’know the ones where firemen have to remove an entire wall of the persons house to hoist them out.
That or he has been caught interfering with himself. I’m not going to judge.

BUNNIIIEES!

ICANHASCHEEZBURGER.COM
 
I am sadly no longer with-bunny, as Wellie died a week and a bit ago. He was the weirdest rabbit we ever had. He behaved more like a dog, and thus will be sorely missed. But not by my leg.