In out in out shake it all about

My Mum, as may have been previously discussed, is a bit on the loopy side. Last week she was consulting all her diaries since c.2004 to find out the exact day the postman delivered her Wimbledon ticket confirmations. She was even trying to calculate the impact of leap days and working days and maths is not her strong point.

Anyway, she got No. 1 court tickets for the 2nd day of the Championships. She wasn’t disappointed, even though she had been rooting for men’s finals (she has had men’s semi-final tickets the past two years) but is pleased because it gives her more of a fighting chance of seeing this sexpot before he smashes his racquets/breaks his leg:

Mmmm, Marat Safin. Seeing him would possible send my mother into a camcorder-upshorts frenzy but will also complete her Wimbledon Trilogy of Boris Becker (achieved over a decade ago, obv. She contemplated suicide when he gave up pro tennis…forshiz), Rafael Nadal (last year’s semi-finals) and Marat.

What it also means for me is a jolly haunt Darn Sarf to hide upstairs in my Nanny’s house while my Dad prepares ever-smelly tuna or salmon sandwhiches for my Mum and Aunt to gas everyone out on the Tube whilst swigging Pimms from a Sprite bottle.

It meant for me the V&A last year (Surreal Things and an expensive handbag) , Pizza Organic on Old Brompton Road, where I had a crackin pizza and my Dad had a yummy (his words) beef burger and the best freaking jacket chips ever. It also meant the Whole Foods store and general London bound meandering.

I’m already on the look-out for exhibitions to attend and organic restaurants to eat at (maybe just Pizza Organic again!) but whilst my Dad sits in a cafe or potters around the parks I will go to the Howies and American Apparel stores and just go batshit insane (in my mind, we have already discussed how difficult I find it to part with money.)

But, these are the things I would buy from AA if I had a million squids and carbon footprint/cotton production was no problemo and I thought that I wouldn’t look ridiculous in some of these things:


1. Organic jersey t-shirt in ultraviolet/dijon. AA makes the best girly t-shirts and what could be better than it being organic?

2. Stripe calf tube socks in lotsa different colours. As close as I’ll ever get to wearing cool PE kit.

3. Vegas legging in mauve/black. I hate leggings especially shiny ones but the colour and kitsch of these is just so fantastic I couldn’t not post them. See ridiculous item.

4. Poplin hoodie. I like the pale colours, but would prefer brights as my skin tone is roughly that of the actual fabric. But, my favourite part the model, she is lovely. I want her hair (and face) very much.

5. LONG JOHNS! Nuff said.

6. Two tone mini dress. No way I could carry it off in real life, but by Jove it looks nice.

7. Denim short shorts in peacock or almost black. I know every six-former and their mother is doing the shorts-black-tights-heels combo right now, but I seriously think I could rock it as my legs are OK when tights disguise their purpleish hue and it would keep me cool during my funky dance-hoe-downs (I have them)

8. Bandeau dress in raspberry or Black.

9. Mesh tank in gold/burgundy. Its a bit see-through so a tank top underneath would be required but its just such a fantastic colour combo and awesome.

10. Ditto the shorts. What is it with me and glorified 70’s PE Kit. I blame Rockstar by N.E.R.D and Juno. Mind you, I’ve coveted the shorts since the summer.

11. Highlighter u-neck tank in yellow. Would wash me out terribly but fluorescent colours win.

12. Boy briefs in aqua/black. Best pants ever invented.

13. Rib henley in grass. I love green and I love buttons on scoop-necks.

14. Shirred cap sleeve in yellow. Wish there were more non-pale colours for this, but I like the cut. The model is also cute, reminds me a bit of Cheryl Tweedy, the fittest out of Girls Aloud.

So yeah. If you’re not a girl you probably found that boring so best you scrolled now. Gonna go eat a veggie sausage roll. Yum.


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Filed under champion of loons, fancy stuff, food, organic, stuff to stop you being naked

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