Tag Archives: books

My blood hurts

My friend Phil leant me Tom Baker’s The Boy Who Kicked Pigs today, after realising this is the sort of thing I like. He did after all find a kindred spirit in the joys of Monkey Dust. I am maybe a 1/4 of the way through Tom Baker’s tome and it is funny in that it is grotesque but looks like its for children. I really like the illustrations as well by David Roberts, and slightly weird line illustrations always conjure up images of Quentin Blake or Ronald Searle (Searle’s illustrations for Molesworth were the subject of a post that lie in my drafts folder, because it ended up getting boring, but check out Molesworth anyway.
I then remembered something equally macabre but childlike in the form of a stumble I came across a long time ago:
The Gashlycrumb Tinies by Edward Gorey
The name, Gashlycrumb Tinies, sounds like a deranged crew of Victorian orphans to me, possibly headed by Mr. Death and his attractive headgear up there. They run amok in London in spats but no shoes and shorts before befriending the little sweet boy in the Georgian townhouse (I imagine it would be Hector, he was after all, done in by a thug in the end) and they give him that ‘other side of the tracks’ experience that so many US teen romcoms have tried to convey but I have just achieved it in a short space of time with less trite dialogue and naff music. He robs some bread and drinks in the gin house after dark and is ‘done in’ by agents of the Tinies, whose loyalties move fast and you milksops in Peter Pan collars get left behinds, suckers.
Victorian orphans and the Peadofinder General’s outfit from Monkey Dust leads me onto:
A fancy, better suited and booted version of everyone’s perenial sixth-form registration time fave: CHAINSAW THE CHILDREN! Of course, the main challenge of form-time gaming was finding a gaming site that hadn’t been banned. We used to get quite creative sometimes. Our other favorite was Weboggle and Block Frenzy.
Chainsaw the Children fell into the same category for us as Kitten Cannon…funny, weird and not something to tell everyone about. A kitten cannon-eque game that held my attention for far too long a couple of years ago was the Death Jr. Hamster Challenge (see also the Death Jr. 2 Flaming Loo Roll game) Death Jr. has the added bonus of being about kids doing reaaaalllly bad things.
So. That was long, but I think you will find it satisfying. Like a good pizza or a cheap, relatively unscathed hooker.


Filed under champion of loons, funny, nerdy

The type of luggage you carry says a lot about you. For example, if you’re carrying somebody else’s luggage, it says you’re a thief.

Found the above link via Boing Boing today. I love vintage advertising, and not just your Montmatre-inspired pieces by Toulouse Lautrec either. What I think is interesting about these 50’s/60’s posters is that as well as the almost complete absence of photography in the adverts, is that many of them use cultural landmarks and icons to portray the countries/cities. Nowadays it mostly a picture of some footprints in some sand and a well-to-do couple walking blissfully away towards their love shack/5 star hotel. It could be Goa, it could be the East coast of Africa or perhaps, it could be Skegness (in which case it would be a boarding house/caravan).
The London Transport Museum’s poster archive is a treasure chest of adverts from the turn of the century to the present day. I love the inter-war period style of advertising, but you can’t beat a bit of windy-worded showy-offy monarchy can you? (Yes?)
In Other News: My boy-brief pants and my 8-button pullover turned up today, without the U-neck tank, so I assume that will be turning up some other time! I have been wearing the pants over my leggings today with generous aplomb. The pullover is lovley, though I had a minor panic when I tried it on and it was far too small and weird fitting but that was because the 3rd buttons down were still buttoned up and I’d put my head in halfway down the garment. This proves that whilst I am arguably quite intelligent, I am also incredibly dim.
P.S. The post title is from the v. funny book ‘Dave Barry’s Only Travel Guide You’ll Ever Need’ (various quotes from which are here, and are all irritatingly underlined) and book that my parent’s bookshelf gave birth to sometime in my AS-Level year at school (I know this because it is covered in black acrylic paint caused by a broken cassette tape case piercing my paint tube in my bag and covering everything I carted around in that backpack. The tape was there for me to listen to during my AS art exam. I did have a portable CD player, but I think I was having a throwback moment. Antmusic by Adam & The Ants was the first track)
If you’re wondering about the bookshelf giving birth, my house is stuffed with books, some we have never even seen before and have no recollection of buying.
P.P.S What on earth is wrong with wordpress at the minute? Normally it is clamouring to double and triple space my paragraphs like middle class people to cocaine. But today it took me at least 3 goes at the code editing, scratching my head at ‘why on earth are there 8 identical div align left codes just so I can start another block of text???’ and eventually just hammering paragraphs tags wherever the hell I felt like it.

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Filed under Arty-farty, books, champion of loons, fancy stuff